October 5, 2003:
Greeting proud QOTW members-by now you should all know how to vote. if you do not, instructions are available online at http://www.qotw.net/~qotw/howtovote.html. you realy should vote, because with such a small group of voters each vote really does matter, and can have a serious impact on the winner.
last week's winner was Johan, having said "This yogurt was so good, if I were a smoker, I'd need a cigarette." congratulations Johan! this is the second tie he has won with a quote about yogurt, and the first time the quote went on to become the first QOTY.
and now, the nominees:
-"$50 REWARD FOR RETURN OF VIRGIN NO QUESTIONS ASKED" - marquee at Cardullo's grocery, Harvard Square
-"Latin is kind of like an orgasm. You can fake it, but then one day it figures you out."- Kate
-"Anything he says about yogurt is brilliant."- Abbie Cyr, referring to Johan
-"I'm holding the devil and it is here to eat you." - Dewey, referring to her PSAT preparation booklet.
-"The Twins are a fluke. Nobody likes a fluke. Especially a fluke on Astroturf."- John Oliverio, on the Minnesota Twins.
-"Problem 67: dee-sgusting! Luckily, since you will be fasting, you will have nothing to regurgitate." - Mr. Riahi, on a hard physics problem assigned over Yom Kippur
-"We are later going to look at the upbringing of J. S. Mills, who was brought up to be the yuppie super-child from hell."- Mr. Young
-"So I did some soul searching about limits."- Mr. Phillips
-"The right answer is irrelevant."- Mr. Sherry, referring to a calculus "quiz"
-"Come on, who are we going to trust: [the textbook] or Disney?"- Becca, with regards to who Pocahontas married
now go and vote! also, send join the honorable mentions list by replyingnto this email saying you want to. the honorable mentions list contains many great quotes, some of which you may find funnier than the nominees.
-alex "but you've arbitrarily reassigned my gender" george
October 5, 2003: Honorable Mentions
here they are. there are a bunch that i wanted to nominate but could not because either i had already nominated something else said by the same person, or they are a celebrity, or its something which i find funny that others do not. enjoy.-"prince charming is putting off plans of conquest of the fairer sex until after US history."- miller
-"Copans hitting people is always funny, unfortunately only 7th place funny."- Julian Hyde
-"And that's why Ireland is a catholic country"- Miller, referring to Spanish armada member who settled in Ireland
-"Nano-Nipples"- Miller's Idea for an ignobel delegation name
-"We are not having sexual innuendos in our name."- Ms. Jackman
-"The constant is variable"- Ms. Jackman
-"Trust me, there will be plenty of shady math in this course." - Mr. Phillips, to his Physics I class
-"Mr. Phillips, no one could map your character."- Joanna
-"You know, some day I'll stop believing you when you try to explain away my inferiorities with drugs."- Roz
-"No, because you are wrong."- Mr. Sherry, to Chao
-"Watching Mr. Young and Mr. Harsanyi talk is like watching someone talk to themselves."- Jon K
-"Flesh has a way of getting out."- Mr. Davis
-"Miller's jerk is without limits."- Joanna
-"There is no 'I' in Free Josh." - Julian
-"I will refrain from calling it hump-time."- Mr. Phillips
-"We know these are not ghost trains because the cows can see them."- Mr. Phillips
-"What if these are psychically gifted cows?"- Rhett
-"From the textbook, I could have sworn she married John Rolfe."- Mr. Harsanyi, on the Disney movie Pocahontas, in which she marries John Smith
- "Supply and demand."- Mr. Harsanyi, on why women were prized in early colonial Virginia
-"Rape and pillage before you burn."- Reilly
-"Make way! Make way! Make way for Typhoid Mary! Make way!" - Andrea Lam
-"Football players have cheerleaders; nerds have masterpiece theater junkies."- Kate
- "I have the quirk that I am very easily seduced."- Josh, referring to his GURPS character
-"Kinetics is only cool if my water bottle hits Dave in the forehead."- Grace
-"Why I humor him, I have no idea."- Mr. Phillips
-"Is Joanna a classicator or a latinator?"- Miller
-"Only know do I understand why Shakespeare made Banquo and Macbeth such good friends."- Miller, in reference to Macbeth, which was written for the coronation of King James I of England, who was gay.
-"[My Dad]'s mind is like a hash table."- Jeff
-"Yes, I am a complete sop. No, you may not 'comfort' me."- Andrea Lam, remarking on her crying whilst watching the ROTK trailer
-"So if the people who sit on the couch are its "patrons," does that mean that the couch is some kind of non-sentient whore?"- Andrea Lam, referring to the student lounge couch.
-"Why do you think our tuitions are so high, then?"- Andrea Lam, replying to the statement that the couch would only be a whore if it were well paid.
-"The way college admissions should work is that I look at each application and I say why they shouldn't get in." - Jeff
-"But picking it somewhere in between would only complicate your existence...so basically that is all I wanted to say." - Mr. Riahi, on a bad way to do a physics problem
-"'Prox' is a term of endearment." - Zoë Stachel, on proximity cards
-"Just say to those boys, "well, you're a monkey and a butt!" "- Some mother, to her son who was being made fun of
-"I'm sorry I pocketed your lizard."- Rhett DuPont
-"Do you have obsessive compulsive disorder, Mr. Phillips?"- Conny Smith
-"Yes, but its countered by laziness."- Mr. Phillips, in response to Conny
-"This is crazy guys, hold onto your hats."- Mr. Phillips, on his graphing calculator
-"And we will teach delinquents like Roz what liberty means, which is subjection to my authority."- Mr. Young
-"You will see [the essay question] and not think I'm evil! Well, maybe you'll think I'm evil, but not because of the essay question!" - Mr. Young
-"I have given you so much information that you could write this essay with your eyes closed, though I prefer you don't because I won't be able to read your handwriting." - Mr. Young
-"Now you know Jack about Puritans. You might know Jim and Bob too."- Mr. Young
-"I know nothing of the sewing of suitors in sacks."- Mr. Young
-"[Anna] was like that extra hydrogen atom..."- Micheline, on severing ties with a middle school friend
-"Is he a running joke with the faculty too?"- Will DeSmitt, referring to Mr. Phillips
-"He's been talking about it for a long time."- Ms. Jackman, referring to Mr. Phillips and his "marker caddy"
-"This is your brain. This is your brain on math."- Roz, as he crushed a foam brain under a calculus textbook
- "It turns out Becca had nothing to say last, time, she was just choking."- Ms. Bluestein
-"That idea makes sense on so many levels of dead cows it hurts."- Becca, on going to Burger King
-"Water is a sneaky little fucker."- Ms. Nulty
-"It's just males, females, and sneaky fuckers."- Ms. Nulty
-"What is it with you and crotch holes."- Becca, on the hole in Miller's pants
-"First, I'm not fingering anything, and I don't like stuff."- Mr. Riahi
-"Oh, it must have been that crack rocking I was smoking earlier."- Ms. Das
-"It's like everybody in middle class England suddenly became ninth graders."- Mr. Young
-"It's pretty minor as far as great schisms go."- Mr. Young, referring to the time when there were 3 Popes
-"That's the handy thing about purses-they separate boobs."- Joanna
-"For those of you who didn't win an Ig Nobel Prize this year, and especially those who did, better luck next year."- Mark Abrahams. The IgNobel prizes are awarded for research that cannot or should not be reporoduced.
-"Before we do that, we want to do something to help husbands and wives communicate."- Co-inventor of the Bow-Linguo, the dog-to-human translating device, on the idea of adapting the technology for use with primates
-'Actually, my razor-sharp wit was confiscated at the airport.' -Neal Stephenson
