October 5, 2003: Honorable Mentions
here they are. there are a bunch that i wanted to nominate but could not because either i had already nominated something else said by the same person, or they are a celebrity, or its something which i find funny that others do not. enjoy.-"prince charming is putting off plans of conquest of the fairer sex until after US history."- miller
-"Copans hitting people is always funny, unfortunately only 7th place funny."- Julian Hyde
-"And that's why Ireland is a catholic country"- Miller, referring to Spanish armada member who settled in Ireland
-"Nano-Nipples"- Miller's Idea for an ignobel delegation name
-"We are not having sexual innuendos in our name."- Ms. Jackman
-"The constant is variable"- Ms. Jackman
-"Trust me, there will be plenty of shady math in this course." - Mr. Phillips, to his Physics I class
-"Mr. Phillips, no one could map your character."- Joanna
-"You know, some day I'll stop believing you when you try to explain away my inferiorities with drugs."- Roz
-"No, because you are wrong."- Mr. Sherry, to Chao
-"Watching Mr. Young and Mr. Harsanyi talk is like watching someone talk to themselves."- Jon K
-"Flesh has a way of getting out."- Mr. Davis
-"Miller's jerk is without limits."- Joanna
-"There is no 'I' in Free Josh." - Julian
-"I will refrain from calling it hump-time."- Mr. Phillips
-"We know these are not ghost trains because the cows can see them."- Mr. Phillips
-"What if these are psychically gifted cows?"- Rhett
-"From the textbook, I could have sworn she married John Rolfe."- Mr. Harsanyi, on the Disney movie Pocahontas, in which she marries John Smith
- "Supply and demand."- Mr. Harsanyi, on why women were prized in early colonial Virginia
-"Rape and pillage before you burn."- Reilly
-"Make way! Make way! Make way for Typhoid Mary! Make way!" - Andrea Lam
-"Football players have cheerleaders; nerds have masterpiece theater junkies."- Kate
- "I have the quirk that I am very easily seduced."- Josh, referring to his GURPS character
-"Kinetics is only cool if my water bottle hits Dave in the forehead."- Grace
-"Why I humor him, I have no idea."- Mr. Phillips
-"Is Joanna a classicator or a latinator?"- Miller
-"Only know do I understand why Shakespeare made Banquo and Macbeth such good friends."- Miller, in reference to Macbeth, which was written for the coronation of King James I of England, who was gay.
-"[My Dad]'s mind is like a hash table."- Jeff
-"Yes, I am a complete sop. No, you may not 'comfort' me."- Andrea Lam, remarking on her crying whilst watching the ROTK trailer
-"So if the people who sit on the couch are its "patrons," does that mean that the couch is some kind of non-sentient whore?"- Andrea Lam, referring to the student lounge couch.
-"Why do you think our tuitions are so high, then?"- Andrea Lam, replying to the statement that the couch would only be a whore if it were well paid.
-"The way college admissions should work is that I look at each application and I say why they shouldn't get in." - Jeff
-"But picking it somewhere in between would only complicate your existence...so basically that is all I wanted to say." - Mr. Riahi, on a bad way to do a physics problem
-"'Prox' is a term of endearment." - Zoë Stachel, on proximity cards
-"Just say to those boys, "well, you're a monkey and a butt!" "- Some mother, to her son who was being made fun of
-"I'm sorry I pocketed your lizard."- Rhett DuPont
-"Do you have obsessive compulsive disorder, Mr. Phillips?"- Conny Smith
-"Yes, but its countered by laziness."- Mr. Phillips, in response to Conny
-"This is crazy guys, hold onto your hats."- Mr. Phillips, on his graphing calculator
-"And we will teach delinquents like Roz what liberty means, which is subjection to my authority."- Mr. Young
-"You will see [the essay question] and not think I'm evil! Well, maybe you'll think I'm evil, but not because of the essay question!" - Mr. Young
-"I have given you so much information that you could write this essay with your eyes closed, though I prefer you don't because I won't be able to read your handwriting." - Mr. Young
-"Now you know Jack about Puritans. You might know Jim and Bob too."- Mr. Young
-"I know nothing of the sewing of suitors in sacks."- Mr. Young
-"[Anna] was like that extra hydrogen atom..."- Micheline, on severing ties with a middle school friend
-"Is he a running joke with the faculty too?"- Will DeSmitt, referring to Mr. Phillips
-"He's been talking about it for a long time."- Ms. Jackman, referring to Mr. Phillips and his "marker caddy"
-"This is your brain. This is your brain on math."- Roz, as he crushed a foam brain under a calculus textbook
- "It turns out Becca had nothing to say last, time, she was just choking."- Ms. Bluestein
-"That idea makes sense on so many levels of dead cows it hurts."- Becca, on going to Burger King
-"Water is a sneaky little fucker."- Ms. Nulty
-"It's just males, females, and sneaky fuckers."- Ms. Nulty
-"What is it with you and crotch holes."- Becca, on the hole in Miller's pants
-"First, I'm not fingering anything, and I don't like stuff."- Mr. Riahi
-"Oh, it must have been that crack rocking I was smoking earlier."- Ms. Das
-"It's like everybody in middle class England suddenly became ninth graders."- Mr. Young
-"It's pretty minor as far as great schisms go."- Mr. Young, referring to the time when there were 3 Popes
-"That's the handy thing about purses-they separate boobs."- Joanna
-"For those of you who didn't win an Ig Nobel Prize this year, and especially those who did, better luck next year."- Mark Abrahams. The IgNobel prizes are awarded for research that cannot or should not be reporoduced.
-"Before we do that, we want to do something to help husbands and wives communicate."- Co-inventor of the Bow-Linguo, the dog-to-human translating device, on the idea of adapting the technology for use with primates
-'Actually, my razor-sharp wit was confiscated at the airport.' -Neal Stephenson
