May 23, 2004: Uncensored
Readers,Noticing that there were a number of censored quotes sitting in the account, and that I had a number of borderline censorable quotes, I decided that it was time for another Uncensored e-mail. Ickle firsties close your eyes:
"They're not ice-cream cones, they're penises in disguise." - Nathan Potter
"Which means I'm out like a boner in sweatpants!" - AJ Machnes, presumably out of his mind
"It's like, who sucks more, people in wheelchairs or retarded people?" - Paul, confused about the Special Olympics
"Why is it called Microsoft and not Macro-Hard? Because that would make too many geeks feel inferior." - Jenny Oberholzter
"So if someone doesn't bang you, you're going to die out." - Alex Vance, learning natural selection
"I can only sleep if I have something on top of me and something between my legs." - Fiona
"If anyone profits off my naked body, it should be me." - Bart Horn on the people who take pictures of naked Harvard students during Primal Scream, and then sell them on the internet
"There are two things I don't break in this life: my promise, and my balls." - Josh Kreiger
"The amount of out they made was absolutely ridiculous." - Joanna, on Jeff & Micheline's relationship freshman year
"At least Mr. Weisman was getting some action." - Ms. Jackman on last years senior skits
- Micheline "pointe shoes are pretty...but I didn't think people could bend like that" Heal
