February 8, 2004:
Dear voters,Abbie Cyr remarked in her QOTY ballot that "I have fulfilled my civic duty; I voted in the New Hampshire primary, yeah, but I hadn't really fulfilled it until I voted in the QOTY election." That's what voting is: a civic duty. It is a shame that so few of you bother to vote. The most wonderful thing about QOTW is that it is more democratic than the government of the United States (To those who beg to differ, I would point out three undemocratic elements in the United States system of government: plurality voting, the Senate, and the Electoral College). There is little point in being a QOTW member if you do not bother to vote. So vote. Instructions are online at our fabulous website, www.qotw.net. While you're at it, sign up for the honorable mentions. All you need to do is reply to this email saying that you would like to be added to the honorable mentions mailing list.
Those of you who did vote, however, chose a fine winner for this week: "Drop out of this race and stop embarrassing mine!", said by Donna, referring to presidential candidate Al Sharpton. I also bring you results from the first part of the QOTY contest. The following three quotes will proceed on to the next round:
"I want it to be unclear whether I intend to liberate Josh or eliminate his cost." - Julian Hyde, on his "Free Josh" sign
"This yogurt was so good, if I were a smoker, I'd need a cigarette." - Johan
"We could be Hell's Mermaids." - Roz, proposing a name for a Commonwealth biker-gang
And now, this week's nominees:
"Bambi." - Nancy Cyr, explaining what venison is
"She's like Michael Jackson crossed with John Kerry, and with her original skin color." - John Oliverio, on Celine Dion
"Let me in! Let me in! I want you!" - Joanna Rifkin, talking to a bottle of iced tea
"Ms. Nulty, are you jealous of the kangaroos?" - Ben Hirsch, on marsupial gestation habits
"He’s so emo. He probably wears all black." - Donna, on Hamlet
"I could take a picture and use as anti-Russian propaganda; the Czar, drinking his orange juice like he drinks the blood of the people." - Josh Haselkorn
"There are plenty of ways to sterilize me. Scissors will do." - Grace Wilson
"Walks should be aneurisms of fun. I am so trademarking the phrase
'aneurisms of fun.'" - Julian Hyde
"I challenge you to a sideburns-growing contest!" - Rhett DuPont, to Mr. Phillips. Rhett, age 18, is much hairier than Mr. Phillips, who is 24 or so.
"This is the only class I know of that finds integration erotic." - Mr. Sherry, to his Theoretical Calculus class.
Voting closes at 5:00 PM EST. Also, be on the lookout for new QOTW merchandise.
-Alex "ander" George
February 8, 2004: Honorable Mentions
"They crucify vegetables?" - Andrea Lam, mishearing "cruciferous""The printer in the Technical Services room of the library was sentient. It hated orange, and it hated me." - Andrea Lam, on her Project
"You say something full of righteous fury. Then you hit them on the head." - Josh, on proper medieval kingship
"The Dutch get naked there too? How is a normal Soviet-American man supposed to handle that?" - Masha' uncle, Lyosha on nude beaches in Curacao
"Mr. Davis, are you harboring buffalo in your armpits?" - Sarah Rudy.
"I hate people not for the color of their skin, but for the content of their character." - Donna.
"Are you calling Walt Whitman a tuft of wool?" - Grace to Isaac.
"Dear God! A Democratic Democratic candidate?" - Julian, on Kerry having a more Democratic voting record than Ted Kennedy.
"Julia, I think Mr. Sherry is propositioning you." - Jennie.
"These were primitive times." - Julian, on 1921.
"Ooh, you're hot, Mr. Sherry." - Josh H.
"I think IUPAC needs to come out of Switzerland." - Will, on the chemical naming group giving silly names.
"If they come out of Switzerland, I'll fight them!" - Kraning, on IUPAC
"You were just like her. Except male." - Hoffman comparing a young Mr. Sherry to Irene.
"It's a poly-sulfur sulfurous polymer. I mean..." - Ms Jackman
"I’m tan, and I’m shiny." - Josh, on returning from Cancun
"We’re going to rekindle the fire within." - Ms. Jackman, on starting the thermochemistry unit in Chem II
"I love the bisexual bathroom!"- Dewey
"And now we have to massage this, as they call it, into the right form." - Mr. Sherry, on mathematical induction
"The perfect spider is a sign curve." - Lily
"You’re going to be one of those stand up comedians people throw tomatoes at." - Cameron, to Miller
"Jackson didn’t like anybody." - Mr. Harsanyi, on Andrew Jackson
"I am not hung over." - Ms. Jackman
"It is not my job to be encouraging." - Mr. Phillips
"I am the great American tragedy." - Julian Hyde
"I cannot be held accountable for things I said while talking to iced tea." - Joanna Rifkin
"If she had frozen she would have been a hopsicle!"- Dewey, referring to Joanna's escaped rabbit, often called "Hoppity"
"Dewey looks at her and says 'muff.'" - Joanna, referring to her rabbit
"The problem with Josh is that its hard to tune him." - Julian, on poking Josh
"It has a much sexier name." - Rhett, comparing the impulse-momentum theory to the work-energy theorem
"I don't want to damage my men." - Ms. Jackman, on why she doesn't keep pyridine, a chemical that sterilizes men, in her chemical supplies
"Never underestimate the power of a small person to drink a lot. But not Chao." - Grace
"'Do you think that you could draw me the mechanism for what's going on in the breathalyzer?' That’s a sure way to get thrown in jail." - Ms. Jackman
"I don’t want to throw pearls into the willowing pots of swine." - Mr. Vollrath, on his French 1 class
