January 26, 2004:
Hey, all,QOTW returns now from its one week hiatus! The prolonged break can be attributed to a combination of CIA evidence tampering, Martian Gamma Rays, and my will to minimize entropic energy loss by restricting my body’s kinetic reactions to bare essentials while also playing poker with friends. Last week’s, or rather last time’s, winner was a close contest between Improv Boston and Julian Hyde, but eventually Julian emerged victorious, garnering 38% of the Iowa Caucasus in a huge upset, with his gem: "You know how it says 'Congress(TM)' nowadays? That's because Congress is a licensed subsidiary of Disney Corporation." Congratulations, Julian, but Improv Boston has vowed to "go onto California, Texas, New York, South Dakota, Oregon, Washington, Michigan, and then back to Commonwealth School, YEEEAAAARRRGGGHHHH."
This week’s Quotes are:
"Dem Asymptotes be supah dope" - Wesley Morgan giving a shout out to his mathematical function homies
"Close the shades. When it's sunny out, there's too much pressure to be happy" - Mr. Connolly
"It's like the climactic music in a Nazi movie. But, you know, like one of those slightly funny Nazi movies with lots of hijinks." - Max Cohen on the music the Commonwealth chorus is learning
"Yes, he definitely wears his academic underpants outside his tights." - A Commonwealth mother, on her daughter's comment that her classmate was an "Academic Superhero"
"Enough with the Bathtubbery." - Rose Kaufman on a Bridge superstition involving bathtubs
"I don't care, because I can give him an 'F' if I want to." - Ms. Jackman, on Jeremy possibly finding a loophole around her Chem 3 exam policy
"They were like, 'Ipswich,' and they were like, 'Tractor Caps,' and I was like, 'Duuuude.'" - Roswell Thomas
"Noon: the other midnight." - Ben Miller
"We're Winchester Jews. Jews in Winchester would be agnostics anywhere else, sort of like the way Republicans in Massachusetts would be Democrats anywhere else." - Ben Orlin, on the mostly Christian town of Winchester, and his family's pseudo-Judaism.
You can vote by going to http://www.qotw.net/~qotw/howtovote.html. Until next time, remember to submit to QOTW and always split on aces and eights.
- Matt "insert name other than Kraintrain here" Kraning
