September 28, 2003:
Voters:Check out the new QOTW email address! Stunning, no? Thanks go to Reilly for his god-like creation of this email account.
Last week's winner was "I want it to be unclear whether I intend to liberate Josh or eliminate his cost." -Julian, on his "Free Josh" sign.
Quote of the Week, following in the footsteps of such great empires as Athens and Major League Baseball, will henceforth become a democracy. In each week, a different person will hold the office of "Quoter of the Week". I only hope that someday history will remember the name "QOTW" the same way it remember the name "Cleisthenes" (specifically, with great difficulty and possibly by consulting its freshman year Ancient History notes).
Forgotten how to vote? http://www.qotw.net/~qotw/howtovote.html tells youall you need to know.
This week's Nominees:
"Don't sit in the garden. Don't stick your hands in the dirt. And don't eat the dirt." -Mr. Wharton, on having rats in the garden in front of the school
"This could really hurt someone. Give me your knuckles." -Copans, on a titanium thermos
"There are some people in Commonwealth School that you don't want to see in full light." -Bess, on the fact that the Dartmouth Lobby is poorly lit
"You look like a deer that's been hit by a car and is struggling to stay alive." -Hilary's mom, watching Hilary play "Dance Dance Revolution"
"I encourage you all to read something scandalous." -Ms. Grant, on Banned Book Week
"This yogurt was so good, if I were a smoker, I'd need a cigarette." -Johan
"I want to have your children. No, I'm serious, I'm kidnapping your children." -Donna
"Does a dog apologize before making noise? No, it barks. Think like a dog and bark." -Mr. Davis, after the students in his English class were indirect and apologetic about making their points
"Next time we will discuss John Winthrop, a man who has been called the most neglected founding father, but judging by the picture in the textbook, the ugliest founding father as well." -Mr. Young
"'Who do you like?' is going out of style, and 'What would you name your tank?' is slowly replacing it." -Roz, on soldiers that name their tanks after girls from back home
Voting closes at 5:00 pm on Friday. Remember to vote: it's not only your civic duty, it's your way to poison the system with your own filthy opinions.
And remember to submit funny quotes to the submission form on the web site! There were some excellent submissions that didn't make it into the nominees list this week, but are featured in the auxiliary "Honorable Mentions" email, which you can sign up for by replying to this email, saying "Give me Honorable Mentions or give me death!"
-Ben "Benorlin" Orlin
