June 1, 2003:
Last week's winner was "The U.S. history homework is always understandable, often fun, and perfect to do during your physics class." -Ms. RomeAs the year winds down, I figured I'd do a "Quote of the Year" to determine the winner of the winners for this year. I think it'd be a fitting tribute to QOTW's rise from a hole-in-the-wall, four-quotes-a-week, over-AOL-instant-messenger organization to the glorious empire it is today. Plus, I forgot to write down good quotes this week.
So, here's the format: the next two weeks will have ten quotes each for you to vote on (all of them winners from earlier in the year). Some winners have been excluded, because I didn't like them. If this upsets you, please remember that I am a tyrant and you and your opinions mean nothing.
Voting procedure is normal: list as many of the nominees as you wish from favorite to least favorite, listing only the nominee's name, not the quote itself. Distinguish between two quotes from the same person with parenthetical statements.
And now, the NOMINEES FOR QUOTE OF THE YEAR:
"Sucks is not a theological word, but it accurately portrays how I feel about the world." -Anthony Campbell
"Come with me and drown your sorrows in orange juice." -Johan
"A bunch of charming, voluble, completely ungovernable people with half-assed ideas about literature." -Mr. Davis, on his Short Story class
"In the study hall of life, Jesus is the proctor." -Poulod
"It's like The Joy of Sex, only better." -Ms. Jackman, on The Joy of Knitting
"Raiders of the Lost Ark may be one of the greatest things that organized religion ever inspired. I mean, it certainly beats the pro-life movement." -Alex George
"I hate it when people say, 'I corrupted you.' It's so pretentious. I can corrupt myself just fine, thank you very much." -Roswell Thomas
"I bet what I think is bliss would creep you out." -Alex George, to Hillary Fischer-Groban, on her having bought clothing at a store named Bliss
"I don't object to talking about the war in Iraq. I just don't like ill-informed people from Exeter and Belmont Hill spreading their ignorance." -Mr. Young
"I add something to this class. It may be a negative number, but it's still an addition operator in my book." -William, in Computers class
Voting closes Tuesday, June 3rd (Happy Birthday Roz!) at 5:00. The top five quotes will advance to the championship round to face the top five from next week.
-Ben "Jorge Posada is much too ugly to be a good hitter" Orlin
June 1, 2003: Honorable Mentions
So, in week one of the Quote of the Year semifinals, the following five quotes advanced (with their number of first place votes once the final bell sounded in parentheses):"Sucks is not a theological word, but it accurately portrays how I feel about the world." -Anthony Campbell (5)
"Come with me and drown your sorrows in orange juice." -Johan (4)
"Raiders of the Lost Ark may be one of the greatest things that organized religion ever inspired. I mean, it certainly beats the pro-life movement." -Alex George (4)
"I hate it when people say, 'I corrupted you.' It's so pretentious. I can corrupt myself just fine, thank you very much." -Roswell Thomas (6)
"I don't object to talking about the war in Iraq. I just don't like ill-informed people from Exeter and Belmont Hill spreading their ignorance." -Mr. Young (3)
And because I could never forgive myself if I let you faithful Honorable Mention members go a whole week without fresh quotes, here's some stuff from last week:
"Those new seats at field level are 50 feet from home plate, and baseballs travel at about 200 feet per second, which gives you .25 seconds to react. Even in the green monster seats, turn around for a second and you can get a bloody nose. And that's just from the fans." -Jon Miller, on the danger of baseballs hitting fans at Red Sox games
"I had a dream the other night in which Mr. Davis and I shared a joint. This is incredibly weird, as I don't smoke pot, I highly doubt he does, and I don't even have him as a teacher." -Alex
"Is it me, or does time stop when you enter this building?" -Zoe, on Commonwealth school
"Murder is a natural part of the monarchy process." -Julian
"Just because I don't have a moose voice like you doesn't mean I haven't been through puberty." -Roz, to John
"U.S. History has reinstated the required reading list. It is ten books long, but to ensure you have a happy gleeful summer they are all about major 20th century disasters." -Mr. Young
Apologies to Zoe, Julian, and Roz, all of whom would have had a legitimate shot at winning had their quotes come in any other week.
-QOTW Management
