November 23, 2003: Honorable Mentions
Howdy, all.What a week it's been! Oh boy. Okay... If you didn't come to the play I call down the fire of the gods upon your sneakers.
Um. This is, as usual, the list of all the things that I thought were funny and no one else did, or weren't really funny but seemed it at the time, or seemed otherwise unfit for voter consumption.
The last time I tried to write interesting Quoter preamble I got into a fight with my subconscious classicist who threatened me with Latin... I'm gonna quit while I'm ahead.
Honor them! For they are Honorable.
"A bad Pericles joke is better than no Pericles joke at all." - Mr. Young
"I'm a librarian vampire. What better place to attack people than the reference section? I hide the bodies behind the dictionaries." - Emily Hall
"That's why so many people were poor--it was too confusing for it to be worth it to figure it out." - Orlin, on the old British monetary system
"I wonder which sees more lapsitting--Santa, or the Commonwealth couch?" - Orlin
"Do not think. Thinking is dangerous." - Mr. Riahi
"Anyway. Not St. Pete. The bad guy. Who's he?" - Larry Geffin, trying to remember whom he sold his soul to.
"I could Trojan Horse your ass." - James Palmer
"I usually get a lot of sleep, and when I don't, I feel like my own science experiment." - Rhett
"Sarcasm is fun. It's our way of dancing around the truth." - Sarah Schofield
"What generation ARE you?" - Ms. Nulty
"Are you an alien?" - Charles Merrill, on Grace Wilson
"Your dancing could be construed as a weapon." - Mr. Young
"I suspect my predecessor is sitting in a rubber room somewhere." - Mr. Young, on teaching US History
"Does [the blood and sweat of the proletariat, which according to Max Cohen greases the wheels of industry] also retard rust?" - Mr. Sherry
"[Trampoline-bouncing] is just as good as church!" - Priscilla
"The richest. The whitest. The malest." - Sol
"Get me extension cords for the hell machines!" - Susan Thompson
"This isn't old school; it's cold school." - Grace, on the school's temperature
And finally, the semi-censored conversation of the week (sorry about this!)
"That's not a friendship; that's a sexship." - Micheline on certain unnamed persons' relationship
"That's not a democracy; that's a sexocracy." - Dewey
"Dude, I want to live in a sexocracy!" - Joanna
Ever yours,
Joanna "Catholic and pretentious" Rifkin
