November 16, 2003:
Ladies, Gentlemen, and whomever put me in a separate category when they were Quoter, your new quoter speaks! Well, actually, I am not /really/ speaking, but writing. And I'm not really new, although I am new to being Quoter. And I guess this has become something of a standard weekly occasion for all of you, so--SHUT THE X^(Y<<16) UP, JEFF.
But why? I was just trying to give an introductory pretext to the grand revisionist historical vision that I was about to lay forth for the unsuspecting and propagandically vulnerable QotW-reading public as the fourth largest voting group on Earth! You used a hash function as a swear.
I DON'T CARE.
There are many reasons to care, though! Do you have no stake in the outcomes of the democratic processies of our great quotenation? Don't you--
I AM HE WHO IS. I AM ABOVE ALL. THAT INCLUDES DEMOCRACY
But by «vox populi vox dei» we might logically conclude that democr--
THE GREEKS WERE PAGAN. NOTICE THAT I SPEAK IN THE SINGULAR.
Oh.
JUST GIVE ME THE QUOTES.
I /believe/ you mean quotations, sir.
ARGHH!!!
And now...THE QUOTES!
"We'll be doing «virtual labs». They basically go «let's pretend we're Concord Academy and have lots of fancy equipment...»" - Ms Jackman
"Wait, radio waves are radiation? I'm never using my radio again!" - A person Jennie babysits for
"Have you ever wondered why your people were oppressed for 2000 years? This is why." - Orlin on "Daienu," a Jewish "song"
"Trustees of Dartmouth College v Woodward established the precedent that, in cases in which the supreme court does not wish to interpret the lawas written, it may babble for 72 pages about the public good." - Paco Esmithe (Jeremy)
"I don't sweat very much--unless I get excited." - Mr. Davis, after confiscating Krieger's cellphone down his shirt
"Jeff, I will machine gun fire you with chalk. You will next open your mouth, and I will fire--with chalk." - Mr. Riahi
"Some people have no shame--or intelligence." - Mr. Sherry to Ben Miller, after the latter swore in class.
"The general rule at Commonwealth is that people are to remain descrete units, not merge into formless blobs with each other and the couch." - Mr. Young
"I'm very self-sufficient. If I'm going to be screwed up, I'm going to screw myself up." - Jenny the Freshman.
"Boston is a maze, and I feel like a rat in it" - Lily's mom, Nancy Holland
Basic facts you should know about QOTW unless you are new, in which case you know Who to ask for forgiveness:
- To vote, reply to this e-mail with votes in the format:
//0) Significant other <-- this line is optional
1) Favorite quotee's last name
2) Second favorite quotee's last name
3) Third favorite quotee's last name
4) You get the idea
- List as many or as few names as you wish
- Subscribe to Honorable mentions! Quadruple the size of your quotes list!
- Don't spoof e-mail adresses and IPs to steal votes. It's not nice.
And to conclude the festivities, the winner of last week's voting < drumroll >was...< /drumroll > Nora, with "Now don't go getting any ideas--you're like Cupid on speed sometimes" to Roz,
--- Jeff «we shall writhe again!» Kaufman ---
