November 16, 2003: Honorable Mentions
Well, worthy devotees, scientists have recently discovered a positive correllation between subscribing to Honorable Mentions and intelligence! And not just that, but it seems to prevent scurvy and ingrown toenails as well! But that's not all, order now and we'll send you a N* years supply, for NO CHARGE! You heard that right, folks. What a deal. Enjoy:"I finally figured out that not all forces cancel, so things actually /do/ move!" - Becky Lis
"I've lost somewhere my youth..." - Mr. Davis, after an abundance of lost and found announcements.
"Sitting here bored,
Reading poetry on the desk,
About Ritalin and love,
Charming sentiments." - A desk in 4A.
"Boys are moldy." - Joanna
"He argues that when America was a baby, it was fine to be raised on milk, but now that it is is a teenager, it needs its own red meat." - Mr. Young
"I have, of course, put up the high moral argument of «I was there first»." - Mr. Young on other teachers putting major assignments on days he had already claimed.
"I think we should sharpen Reilly until he has a point." - Joanna on what one should do with a rambling Reilly.
"It's Indian. It means «big country that is bigger and better than America»." - Ms. Jackman, on the derivation of «Canada».
"Mine's the gift that gives one no moral qualms about unwrapping it." - Orlin
"The problem is that the left is drifting right and the right is drifting scarywards." - Joanna
"There is much Paine in your class, Mr Young." - Joanna
"Wait; the green line isn't free?" - Alice, Jeff's sister, eighth grader.
"We tell Jeff that we've strapped Micheline to a missile and fired it North. And we've strapped an atomic bomb to another missile and fired it South, at Boston. And he'll say «Gasp! I can't save either!»" - Julian
"You can't think of jokes as animals; you have to think of them as viruses." - Julian
"A lost mastadon train crying in the night!" Roz's mom, on a train whistle echoing through the dark cold streets of Ipswich
"Jeff, one more interruption in this class and I will boot you and you will go and write your college essays!" - Ms. Jackman
"You can finish your point, but you're wrong. Go on, finish your doomed point." - Mr. Davis, to Sam
"Oh yeah? Well, you're a vegetarian!" - Daniel's friend's little brother, Nathan, trying to insult someone
"Why are you always asking me difficult questions?" - Donna, in response to «Where are you going?»
"I'm not power-hungry; I'm a republican." - Copans
--- Jeff «I guess my conversation with God in the previous e-mail was really an internal discussion...» Kaufman ---
* Where N = until we get bored with HM
