July 19, 2003: Uncensored
QOTW Members:As you are likely aware, QOTW is very much a family-friendly organization. I say this because a downright creepy number of my friends' parents seem to know about it. But we do not live in a family-friendly world; this is a world full of Ben Millers and Micheline Heals and David Wells', so naturally you're going to hear some inappropriate things from time to time. Rather than let these quotes, which are often funny in a twisted sort of way, stain QOTW week in and week out, I've saved up a whole bunch of them, and now I'll dump them all on you at once. Hope you enjoy them, because I don't.
The Quotes:
"I like my women like I like my middle east: full of oil and ready for US penetration." -William
"I like my women like I like my letters from colleges: fat, sealed, but ready for opening." -William
"The whole point is that eunuchs don't pop up." -Miller, in response to Josh's question of why Eunuchs keep popping up in Chinese history
"First base in four seconds? Oh, you mean real baseball..." -Emily
"It's more than just fungus, you know." -Miller, on jock itch
"It's like that feeling that you get when you first realize your parents are having sex." -Zoe, on a poem
"Now you're pacing like you have menstrual cramps." -Micheline, to Ben
"It's just one violent mofo after another in that play." -Hillary's mom, on Macbeth
"Sex is impossible anyway." -Mr. Davis, in response to Joanna's quote that men get fat forward and women get fat sideways so sex isn't impossible
"Podria ser una actividad." -Frederique, on sex at Hancock (Translation: "It could be a [morning] activity.")
"Do you want to explain the menstruation cycle to me?" -Masha, to Alex
"It's the sex amoeba!" -Roz, on Jeff and Micheline
"A veces no se puede parar..." -Miller, on why abortion should be legal (Translation: "Sometimes you can't stop...")
"Why pay $150 for a hotel room when you can have sex in your bathroom or basement?" -Rostam
Granted, some of these aren't really that explicit, but my definition of "inappropriate" covers most of the Western Hemisphere and anyone who wears sunglasses when it's not sunny out.
-Ben "weak week" Orlin
